Is Instagram Bad for Relationships?

The Double-Edged Sword of Instagram Relationship Advice

Instagram has become a resource in recent years for all things human, from recipes, to comedy to insights into your marriage. With a single scroll, you’re sent a myriad of messages about your relationship that leaves you both empowered and concerned that things are not how they ‘should’ be.

There’s something weirdly comforting about finding your exact relationship challenge summed up in a beautifully designed Instagram quote. You’re annoyed at your partner, you open the app, and suddenly you read: “If they cared, they’d listen the first time.” You feel seen. You send it to your friend and she agrees, justice has been served.

A beautifully worded post about emotional safety might provide a language to something you've been feeling, but didn’t fully understand. A short reel about attachment styles might help you realize that your partner’s avoidant behavior is not about you, but about their past. Even that post shared between you and your partner, at times, can open up a real conversation about the challenges in your relationship.

When Social Media and Relationships Collide

But here’s where it gets tricky. Instagram posts are written to stop the scroll. They are designed for the hook and instant shock factor, to get you to like, follow and read on. The most popular posts tend to speak in absolutes, "If they make you cry more than they make you laugh, something’s wrong"; "When ‘I love you’ feels like a lie you both tell to avoid the truth."

These messages sound confident, but life and love are rarely so black and white. Relationships are nuanced and situations need to be put into context. Relationships and social media can cause a serious clash, especially when your relationship advice is pulled from an algorithm and not from a true understanding of your personal dynamics.

Context Matters in Healthy Relationship Tips

When you're seeing this Instagram relationship advice without the proper framing, or worse, just after an argument, it can actually create more confusion than clarity. Is the reel right? Am I staying because I’m co-dependent… or because I value commitment? Is my partner emotionally unavailable… or just stressed out?

Instagram advice doesn’t know your whole story. It doesn’t understand your history, your partner’s trauma or the really nice moments you had last week. It doesn’t know the way your partner makes you a cup of tea at the end of the day without you even asking, even when you don’t always feel they are emotionally attuned to you. It’s easy to lose clarity as a result of the stirring info-graphic with the emotionally charged song playing in the background.

The Comparison Trap and Relationship Problems

There’s also the comparison trap that social media sucks us into. While you sort through conflicting advice, you’re also scrolling through videos of couples who seem to have amazing relationships. You may wonder if they are putting up boundaries in their relationship or just not needing them.

They are posting some viral couples dance, while you’re wondering when your partner is going to look up from their phone and even notice you sitting there. These picture perfect images can stir up a lot of self-doubt and relationship concerns, which can leave you wondering if your relationship is even reparable.

Couples Therapy Can Help You Find Clarity

Now don’t get me wrong, I love the catchy phrases and the cute videos. They’re great for sparking awareness and starting conversations. They aren’t, however, a crystal ball for your future or a determinant of your relationship’s potential. If something resonates, explore it further. Read about co-dependency; learn more about setting boundaries in relationships, or discuss the thoughts you’ve had with your partner.

Your relationship deserves more than bite-sized advice. It deserves context, compassion, and space to be imperfect. If scrolling through social media has left you feeling more confused than connected, couples therapy can offer clarity that’s personalized to your story.

Ready to go deeper than Instagram advice? Book a free consultation to explore how relationship counselling can help you and your partner strengthen your connection.