Is it Normal to Feel so Emotional After Giving Birth?

If you’re in those first weeks after birth thinking, “Why am I crying over everything?” you’re not alone, and yes, you are totally normal. Your body after birth is adjusting to so much. It is being flooded with intense hormones, to help you heal, return your body to its pre-pregnancy state, produce breast milk and so much more. If that’s not enough to contend with, you’re barely sleeping, possibly in pain and dealing with things you never have before. You might be dealing with difficulty feeding your baby, unexplained rashes, and possibly the slew of unsolicited advice from anyone who as much as lays eyes on your baby. Being a new mother, whether it’s your first or fourth baby, is an emotional rollercoaster and a life-altering change.

The isolation is another layer, which can be really hard for those of you who love to get out or socialize. Day after day, it’s just you and your baby, both by day and by night, figuring each other out while the rest of the world carries on. When you do try to venture out, managing the feeding schedule and your own exhaustion can be enough to deter you from doing it again for a few weeks. You might feel completely disconnected from your old self, from your routines, your friends, your partner, even your own body. Everything shifts in such a short amount of time. Many of our clients say, “I feel like I should be feeling happier” or “I love my baby, but I’m not enjoying this.” That doesn’t make you a bad parent. It makes you human.

There’s this assumption that new parents should be glowing with joy, instantly bonded with their baby, and “grateful for every moment.” But the truth is, even in the best of circumstances, a new baby is an enormous adjustment. Motherhood is actually a huge, steep learning curve that we have to climb while also battling exhaustion and raging hormones. No wonder it feels overwhelming!

When to Seek Support

There is overwhelm and baby blues, but then there is also postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety. The thoughts and feelings we outlined above, are typical aspects of the 'baby blues'. What differentiates these experiences from postpartum depression or anxiety, is the intensity and length of time, with which these symptoms appear. If your emotions are persistent, compulsive, overly intense, intrusively affecting your thoughts, or start interfering with your daily life, it could be postpartum depression or postpartum anxiety. It can be helpful for a spouse or someone close to you to keep their eyes out for symptoms such as apathy, difficulty sleeping (when you finally have the opportunity to sleep), or consistent worries about the baby. Postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety are not failures. They are not signs that you 'aren't cut out for this', they are treatable challenges that many other women experience, but often silently.

Re-connection is Key

The isolation and lack of social connection, that are so common in the after-birth experience, are a large part of how postpartum symptoms escalate the way they do. Connecting to friends and family, in whichever way you can, is a good way of alleviating some of the emotional intensity. As a new parent, it can understandably be really challenging to find the time and energy to reach out and connect. While going out with friends might be a change of pace, for some people it can be too much, while also juggling a baby. If that’s the case, reaching out, for now, can look like a phone call, a voice note, or even just a text to say hi. If you are able to take that a step further, it might be helpful to ask a friend to come visit, hold the baby for half an hour or bring you some food. There are also online forums and support groups for new mothers, as a way to connect to others who are in your shoes. These little things can help you feel less alone and more able to manage the next night ahead.

You Don't Have to do This Alone

If these touchpoints don’t seem to make a difference in your mood, if you think you may be struggling with more than baby blues, or if you just feel off and can’t put your finger on why, please reach out for support. It doesn’t mean something is wrong with you or that you’re not a good mother. It means your brain and body are adjusting after a major life event and you don’t have to deal with all that alone. You’re doing more than enough.

Explore some postpartum support options or book a free call for us to answer your questions. You don’t have to go on like this anymore.